have been working on the side of the symptoms, the aftereffects. They are
trying to close the barn door after the horse has already left. The War on
Drugs is an attempt to sweep up the glass after the vase is already broken.
Detox centers and Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) groups are trying to fix a
broken record. Until you begin to work on the source of your addictions, your
repressed emotions and inability to relax, you will continue to be operating
on the wrong side of the equation. You will continue to try to use willpower
and mind techniques to push down your connection between your addictions
and your repressed emotions. As long as you refuse to heal the origin of your
addictions, repressed emotions and sensory experiences, you will continue
to fight a losing battle. Addiction is the result of an inner relationship gone
astray. Addiction has very little to do with what you put into your body.
and feeling frustrated with the lack of intimacy in her marriage. It appeared
that Kathy's husband, the man that Kathy was deeply in love with, had a
primary relationship with alcohol. Alcohol was his best friend. How could
there possibly be room for Kathy (two best friends)? Her husband, Jim, would
come home from work, have a couple of drinks, and then go upstairs alone and
watch television. He would give his intimacy to his two cats, which he would
caress while viewing television. It appeared that Jim had primary relationships
with alcohol, animals and television in order for him to numb out his feelings.
Even if he were to stop drinking, most likely he would not be processing the
deep feelings that had led to his addictions. He would not be working on the
right side of the equation but only trying to control the aftereffects.
had more of a priority than she did. As with most people, Jim's primary
relationships were with his addictions, not with his partner, Kathy.
own television. She began to binge eat in her isolation to numb out her hurt
and loneliness. She could not understand why she kept gaining weight.
constructive" (like sewing or reading books), Kathy still did not begin to
heal her addictions. It was only when she began to address her hurt and